Going Deep_A Single Dad & Nanny Romance Page 14

  And it was, because tears began to rise to my eyes and my mind flooded me with images of him and his smile, and all I could do was stand up from my seat and try to get out of the room. I pushed past the stranger that held the intoxicating scent before I made my way back out to the main showroom. I heard the man interviewing me calling my name, trying to get me to come back to the interview.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I couldn’t step out into this damn city without being reminded of him.

  He was everywhere: his face, his money, his conquests, his rumors, his whisperings, his reputation, his scent. He filled every dark corner of his city with something of his, and it felt like I couldn’t run far enough away to get outside of the scope of influence that was Derek Blake.

  I ran across the street as car horns began to blare, and all I could do was run as fast as my legs could carry me while my body became drenched with rain. Lightning pierced the sky and thunder rolled so hard the lampposts shook, and the only thing I could think about as I tried to fit the my trembling key into Franz’s apartment door was how beautiful the storm would have been if I had been witnessing it from Derek’s home.

  Watching from behind those beautiful windows, I would have happily allowed him to press me up against them.

  I shoved my shoulder into the door and poured myself into the apartment. I lay on the floor and kicked the door closed with my foot, and I simply rolled onto my side and began to heave. I’d made up my mind right then and there that I had to quit. At this point, the money didn’t matter. I had been so in control of myself and my emotions until Derek fucking Blake came swooping in a mere six weeks ago, and now I couldn’t even walk down the street without throwing myself into a mild panic attack.

  I had to quit – for my sanity and for my health.

  But just as I took a deep breath and began to calm my trembling body, my phone began to ring.

  Without looking at the number, I pulled it from the pocket of my soaked pants before swiping at it and holding it up to my ear.

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “It’s me again,” Eleanor said.

  I sighed heavily and braced myself for it.

  “I’m fired, aren’t I?”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you calling?”

  “Not a good time?” Eleanor asked.

  “The storm caught me,” I sighed.

  “Well, this should warm you up a bit. Mr. Blake’s lawyer called and informed me in an official capacity that your status as live-in nanny is to be reinstated.”

  I felt the wind being ripped from my lungs as I shot upright from the floor.

  “What?” I choked out.

  “Mr. Blake wants you and your things back at his place by 8 AM.”

  “Eight AM… tomorrow?”

  “Must be some storm,” Eleanor giggled. “Are you up for the job? I know it’s been a rollercoaster of baby mama drama.”

  Apparently I didn’t even know the half of it.

  “He wants a live-in nanny. You’re sure?”

  “Positive.”

  “So… it’ll be me, the baby, Derek, and Gracie?” I breathed.

  “I’m not at liberty to discuss what has happened with the mother, but I’m sure Mr. Blake will probably fill you in,” Eleanor stated.

  “Derek’s lawyer didn’t say anything about it?”

  The pause on the other end of the line meant Eleanor had caught my use of his first name. I silently cringed on the other end of the line and started running through all the lies I could tell her as to why I was addressing him so informally. I could tell her he simply told me to call him that, or I could tell her I only referenced him in that way when I wasn’t around him. I could put up some feminist fight about how I didn’t need to address any man, formally, in any regard, but Eleanor spoke before I could.

  “No. Mr. Blake’s lawyer didn’t say anything about it; only that she was no longer at the residence.”

  My heart ached for Clara in that very moment. She’d been born into the world without a father, was left by her mother, only to have her family reunited before it was torn apart again.

  And I couldn’t help myself from wondering whether or not Derek was alright.

  “Tell Der-... I-I mean Mr. Blake… that I accept this new contract, and that I’ll be there at 8 AM sharp.”

  “Will do,” Eleanor clipped. “And Madeline?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Be careful.”

  The phone call was cut, the line was silent, and I let out the breath I was holding as I stared at the wall. Six weeks ago, I’d met a man that would change my life forever, only to be thrown out of the place that felt like home four weeks later. Now, two weeks after that incident, I was being asked to come back.

  I didn’t know what had happened, and I didn’t know if they were all right; what I did know was that I needed to get my ass off this floor and start doing some laundry.

  I was going to be up packing tonight.

  24

  I was anxious for Madeline’s arrival. The Nanny Agency called me and told me she’d agreed to the new terms, and I wanted to make her arrival back home special.

  Home… where she belonged.

  I took Clara with me from store to store and tapped into the minds of the decorators in the back rooms. I wanted Madeline’s room to feel as if she was home. I wanted her to know how much her return meant to me.

  What it would mean for Clara…

  Every single night that Gracie was in my home, the only thing I could think about was her. Time and time again, Gracie tried to wiggle her way into my bed, and the only thing I could think about was how much warmer Madeline’s thick thighs would be. Whenever Gracie flashed me a smile, there had always been something sinister behind it, whereas Madeline’s smile had been honest and calm. Gracie might have had the ferocity of a raging ocean, but Madeline had the deceptively powerful temperament of a slowly-brewing hurricane in the Gulf. She could sit and smile, keeping her cool, until you hurt someone she enjoyed having in her life…

  … Or someone she loved.

  Then she’d pounce with the fury of a hurricane’s winds, and you’d never feel a reprieve until she brought you into her eye…

  … Into her center…

  … Into her core.

  There had been so many times at night that I had dreamed of what it would be like to bury myself into her body; to lean in so close I could see my orgasmic eyes reflected in hers. I wanted to know what it would have looked like for her juicy ass to jiggle while my body brought her to ecstasy and her throat choked out my name. So many nights had been spent silently begging for her body, and so many shower sessions had ended with my toes curling as I wrapped my hand around my length and grunted her name. I wanted everything about her: her scents, her smells, her whispers and her juices. I wanted her vulnerability and her thick thighs wrapped around my head so my tongue could dance in the middle of her heat. I wanted to crash orgasm after orgasm through her body and have her beg me to stop, then keep going just because I knew she really wanted more.

  I wanted her to tell me she wanted more…

  I spent all night decorating her room: sheer blue curtains graced her window to match the peaceful calm of her big blue eyes and new mahogany furniture gleamed within the space to remind her of how beautiful her hair was when the sunlight caught it through the windows of my home. Silver accents dotted the room, from the door handle to the crown molding, and her new bedspread was nothing short of luxurious: brown and blue with silk sheets spread on top of a California king-sized mattress. It was a bed fit for a queen to roll around in… and I audibly groaned at the idea of being the king she allowed into it.

  I wanted her to have her own space and I wanted her to feel comfortable. I knew she’d have questions that I’d have to brace myself to be ready to answer, but I figured we could at least answer them in a comfortable atmosphere. I dragged four massive plastic bags into the bathroom at the other end of the penthouse and began pullin
g everything out. I stacked the shower with her shampoo and conditioner and made sure to stuff the extra shelves with bath salts and bubbles. I placed candles around the edge of the rock-faced tub before I stuck the extras down underneath the sink. I pulled out soft, plush towels in dark greens and browns to match the rocks that decorated the shower, and I made sure to fold them neatly and place them where they should be.

  She’d spent a lot of time in here when she was living with us, and I wanted her to have a getaway for when things got too stressful.

  I pulled out a robe I’d had embroidered at the last minute just for her and hung it up on the back of the bathroom door, and just before I went to leave I turned around and gave it one last look. If I had my way, I’d slowly peel her clothes off and trail them from the door to the bathtub. I’d make her sit with her legs spread wide while I turned on the hot water and allowed the stones around us to heat up, and I would pour bath salts into the water just to make sure her skin would be nice and soft. I’d let her relax back while my fingers slowly parted her thick folds, and I’d watch while her breathing slowly turned to panting. I’d watch her chest flush with wanton lust and her eyes helplessly flutter closed, and when she began to squirm underneath my touch I’d slip in between her legs and line myself up with her entrance.

  I’d slip myself slowly into her and clasp my arms around her back before tossing her up onto the edge of the bath and snapping my hips against hers. I’d fill her to the brim with my thick cock just so she’d lean back and her voluptuous tits could bounce in my face.

  My hands were trembling when I finally pulled myself from the bathroom and my pants were growing uncomfortably tight. Just the thought of her did something to me that I simply couldn’t explain, and when I looked at the clock and realized it was already 5 AM, I knew the only thing I’d be able to do was take a quick nap.

  I laid myself down onto the couch and fell asleep only to be awakened by the sounds of Clara crying. It was just past 7 AM, and I yawned before I slowly dragged myself to her room.

  “She’s coming back today,” I smiled at my daughter. I slowly lifted her from her crib and took her into the kitchen to grab a bottle, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of the microwave before I groaned and lobbed my head back.

  I looked like hell, and I needed to do something with myself.

  So, I put Clara in her swing with her bottle and pulled her into my room. She swung and gulped her bottle down while I threw on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I brushed through my hair and debated on whether or not to shave, but by the time I had decided to take myself to the bathroom and warm up some shaving cream, there was a knock at the door.

  I felt my heart plummet to my toes before I looked over at my giggling daughter.

  “Ready?” I asked her.

  She spit bubbles of delight in reply.

  I smiled and picked her up from her swing before I carried both of us to the door. Another knock resounded on my front door, and I took one last deep breath before I swung it open.

  There she was.

  Madeline.

  She, finally, was back home.

  “Hi,” she said, smiling weakly.

  But before I could say anything back, Clara catapulted her body towards Madeline and she started to laugh.

  “Whoa, there, little one! You’re going to hurt yourself doing that,” she laughed. Clara nuzzled deep into her body, and I had to try keeping a lid on my emotions. My daughter had missed her as much as I had, and when I saw Madeline trying to reach down and grab her stuff, I motioned for her to stop.

  “Let me get that,” I murmured.

  “Thanks.”

  “So, I have a surprise for you.”

  “Oh?” she asked.

  I wheeled her stuff to the room she had previously occupied, and when I threw the door open, I heard her lightly gasp. I smiled brightly while she walked into the room with my daughter in her arms; and if she had been talking, I didn’t notice. The only thing I could think about was how natural it was for Clara to be in Madeline’s arms, and how right it felt having her in my home.

  It was as if this was our home, and she had always been a part of it.

  “Derek… this is –”

  “– hold that thought.”

  I dropped her stuff by her bed before I strode over to her walk-in closet. Before, it had been stacked with mindless stuff from work and boxes from items I’d had shipped to the complex; but I had cleared it out for her and filled it to the brim with clothes.

  If she wasn’t going to buy clothes for herself, then I was going to buy them for her.

  I threw the double doors open and flicked on the light. Her gasp caused a smirk to appear on my face, and I watched her slowly walk into the closet. She began grabbing tags and looking at the sizes and her eyes of wonder turned to a face full of confusion before she pivoted back towards me.

  “How did you know my size?” she breathed.

  And my response flew from my lips before my brain could edit it.

  “I’ve felt your body pressed against mine. I know what size you are.”

  I held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity before I watched tears slowly rise behind them. For a split second, I thought I’d done something wrong, and I chastised myself for being such an idiot. Maybe she thought I was trying to tell her that her clothes weren’t enough, or I was insinuating that she didn’t look good in them, or –

  “This is too much,” she whispered through her tears.

  I strode towards her and took Clara from her arms before I wrapped one of my arms around her back. She leaned into my body and cried her tears into my t-shirt, and as I held my daughter in one arm and the woman I loved in the other, I couldn’t help but think that this was it.

  This was the family I had created.

  “It’ll never be enough. Not when it comes to you, Madeline,” I said lowly.

  She sniffled and raised her gaze towards mine, and her puffy red eyes begged for me to tell her why. Her short frame was trembling against mine, and I pulled her as close to me as I could. Her body was so warm and so inviting and so real… and I wanted to keep her there as long as I could. I was so scared that if she pulled away from me, someone else would barrel through that front door and take her from me.

  I wasn’t going to let that happen. Not again.

  This was my family, and Madeline was mine…

  …No one else’s.

  “You are the perfect fit for Clara and me. You keep us grounded and you keep us fed. If it weren’t for you in the beginning, I could’ve never navigated and figured out how to be a father. It’s because of you that all of this has come together.”

  “You would’ve figured it out, Derek,” she murmured before she pulled away from me.

  “No I wouldn’t have, and you know it.”

  I watched her turn back towards the clothes. Her eyes scanned the different colors and fabrics, and she began pulling out drawers and finding pairs of shoes that would match any and every outfit she could ever possibly put together.

  And then, she opened up a drawer in the back, and I watched her shoulders pull taut as a smirk bloomed across my cheeks.

  “Derek…?” she called back. She slowly turned around with a skimpy lacy red teddy hanging from her finger, and the blush that had risen along her cheeks perfectly matched the striking number she held against her skin.

  “You can wear it anytime you wish,” I quipped.

  “Yeah: you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

  “I’d like taking it off, too.”

  Her eyes connected heavily with mine, and for a split second I thought she was going to throw something back. There was no backing down for me: I was in love with Madeline and everything there was about her. Even though it had only been two months since I met her, everything about her had captivated me: the sway of her hips and the wild tones of her hair; her peaceful eyes that hid her sharp wit; the way her breasts bounced with every movement she made; and even the way
her thighs lightly rubbed together whenever she sat down.

  I loved every inch of her, and I wanted her to feel beautiful.

  “Probably shouldn’t have this out with Clara up, huh?” she breathed before she stuffed it back into the drawer.

  She cleared her throat before she turned back to me, and I could see her puckered nipples through the shirt she was wearing. God, her entire body was giving away what she still refused to say, and I could never deny myself a good chase.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked lightly.

  And suddenly, all the playfulness drained from my body.

  “Maybe later,” I murmured, “once Clara’s sleeping tonight, and all.”

  “Are you alright?” she asked.

  “I’m better with you here.”

  I watched her eyes dart around again before she brought her hands around and began wringing them together. There was something she was holding back – something she wanted to say – and I just wanted to yell at her to say it. I wanted her to say all the things that were rattling around inside her head. I wanted her to throw her arms around me, and press those pillow-like lips against mine and melt into me. I wanted her to let me probe her mind while I suckled precious marks in the crevices of her body.

  I wanted her to tell me she wanted to be mine, because I wanted to be hers.

  But Clara began getting restless in my arms and, reflexively, Madeline was by my side and taking her from me. Her hands brushed against my forearms and our eyes connected again, and just as quickly as I held her gaze she was walking around the corner to go get Clara whatever it was she needed.

  Our day was spent dancing around one another while I paced the penthouse and took phone calls. I would listen to her coo to Clara whenever she kicked up a fuss, whispering things like “Daddy’s working hard” and “we need to be quiet so he can concentrate.” At one point in time, both Madeline and Clara fell asleep on the couch, and I couldn’t help but bend over and press a kiss to both of their foreheads. The gesture felt automatic, as if I had been doing it for years, yet the two of them had only been in my life for a couple of months.